Not Enough: Is love ever enough? (The Enough Series Book 1) Read online

  The space Jeremy has reserved is nice. It has one large black couch and two smaller black loveseats arranged around circular black table with gorgeous silver embellishments. The space is cozy and walled in on three sides giving privacy. The dance floor below is visible from the balcony.

  As everyone says their hellos, I see Eric sitting with his girlfriend on one of the loveseats. I make my way over to say hello with Austin in tow. “Hey buddy, long time no see,” I say warmly. He stands up and hugs me tightly. I find it hard to hug him back as Austin seems reluctant to let go of my hand. I pull back and introduce the two. Eric introduces Jen to Austin.

  Jen has never been a fan of Bode or J because she thinks they are bad influences on Eric. She might be right, but I still don’t think that is a reason to make Eric choose her over them. It is my opinion she should try harder to get to know them then she would understand everything they do is in fun. Moreover, she would be hard pressed to find two people who care more about Eric than Bode and J. They have been friends since they were kids. I say a polite hello to Jen and walk back over to join J and Bode.

  Everyone sits down and I am sitting between Austin and J on the large couches. I notice that since the floor show I put on earlier Austin has not taken his hands off me. He keeps our hands laced or a hand on me in one way or another. I find it sweet but wonder whether he does it for his benefit, or for mine, or if he is sending a message. I really couldn’t say, Ryan was never one to be overly possessive or to indulge in public displays of affection. Well, one thing is for sure, Austin certainly is not Ryan, thank god!

  The chatter dies down as a waitress clad in nothing more than a bikini shows up with a round of tequila shots for everyone. After throwing back the shots, Bode announces it is time to dance. He grabs Haley by the hand and pulls her towards the stairs. Jeremy and Abby follow right behind leaving Austin and me with Eric and Jen.

  Austin leans toward me and whispers, “So how long until they are sufficiently distracted?”

  I laugh and slap him playfully on the chest. “Why are you in a hurry to get somewhere,” I ask suggestively.

  With his mouth practically in my ear he says, “Oh no baby we can stay as long as you want.” Then he lightly bites my earlobe before kissing my neck. Holy wow.

  I shift in my seat and try to control my breathing that continues to escalate with every kiss. He stops abruptly and looks at me with a smirk. “So you want to dance or what?”

  I glare at him playfully. “You sir play dirty, so I will just move over here,” I reply sliding across the away from his delicious touch.

  He gives me a chuckle and smiles revealing his beautiful dimples before coming to me and wrapping himself around me. “You really think three feet will save you, I have been waiting for this since the day we met.”

  Truthfully, I think I was waiting for it too. I just did not realize it until recently.

  It is clear we need to get out of this club before we give the people anymore of a show than they have already received. I am turned on beyond belief. I don’t remember ever being this turned on. I stand up and Austin looks at me questioningly, “Time to start our goodbye tour.”

  He nods and stands up, “Hell yes, but it had better be a quick tour.”

  I walk over to Eric and hug him goodbye ignoring the spiteful glare Jen is giving me. We then make our way down stairs in search of J and Bode. I spot J in the middle of the dance floor with Abby. They appear to be having a great time. I begin weaving my way through the horde of bodies, which is increasingly difficult since Austin will not let go of my hand. Once I reach J, I tap him on the shoulder and he turns to me briefly. “We are going to go,” I explain. He nods and smiles as he resumes dancing with Abby.

  Just as I am about to lead us back off the dance floor Austin surprises me by grabbing me from behind and forcing me to dance with him. He pulls my hips into him and begins moving in time with the music. He has both arms wrapped around me so I have little choice but to move with him. His sexual excitement pressing into me elevates my already intense sexual frustration. Damn he can move. I can’t wait to check out his other moves.

  As the song changes he turns me and kisses me with no restraint before dragging me off the dance floor and out of the club. “Did you drive,” he asks demandingly.

  “No, I rode with J,” I answer quickly.

  He smiles and pulls me with him towards parking lot. He removes his phone from his pocket and types out a quick message. Seconds later, a black town car appears in front of us. I look at him perplexed as he opens the door and helps me into the car. “I always hire a car service when I go out, no need for unnecessary risks.” He winks and I swear my panties melt.

  Chapter 24

  After stopping by my house for a change of clothes and to pick Boss up, we arrive at Austin’s palace. We decided to stay at his place tonight since there is a good chance Bode and J will end up back at my house with companions before the night is over. I am beyond nervous. I have butterflies in my stomach, and my hands are clammy.

  The drive from the club was quiet as Austin caressed my leg and held me close. We both seemed to be lost in thought pondering the sudden direction the night has taken. Once we exit the town car Austin takes Boss’s leash and my hand before leading us inside. Once indoors, Austin releases Boss and he makes himself at home in the middle of Austin’s couch. I can’t help smiling even my dog loves being around Austin.

  Ignoring the palpable tension in the air, I walk over to the couch to remove my unbearably uncomfortable heels. I notice Austin watching me from the corner of my eye as he unloads his keys, cell phone, and wallet into a small bowl on the sofa table. As I slip the first shoe off I hear him chuckle. “And she’s back.”

  I frown at him and playfully toss the shoe his way. “What is that supposed to mean?”

  He smiles as he catches my heel. “Nothing, just that it appears Cinderella is done with her glass slippers.”

  While taking the second shoe off I mock him. “Ha ha, my hypocrisy only goes so far. You try wearing these damn things.” With my shoes off, my feet feel better, but the rest of me is tied in knots. Why is this so uncomfortable?

  I nervously watch Austin as he runs his hands through that sexy as hell hair. I can see lust in his eyes, but the indecision in them worries me. He walks towards me with hesitation. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this Ry.”

  What the hell, I thought this is what he wants and has been waiting for. I thought we were finally on the same page. Before my heart sinks any further or my humiliation escalates, I ask, “What’s the problem Austin, I thought you wanted this. I mean you seemed like you did earlier.”

  He shakes his head nonchalantly increasing my panic level before he reaches out and runs his warm hands up and down my arms in a soothing manner. I want to tell him to get his hands off me, but although he is causing my anxiety now, he is also helping me fight it. “Ry, I want this more than you know. I am just afraid you made your decision based on not wanting to lose me rather than wanting more with me.”

  Is that what I did? Does it matter? No. I made my choice. I want him and he wants me I can see it in his eyes.

  “Austin I will not tell you that the fear of losing you didn’t influence my decision because it did. That fear forced me to realize what was staring me in the face all along. We both know we have practically been dating since we met just without the sex.” I am frustrated now and heavy tears are forming in my eyes as I look up at him.

  He is watching me with those deep blue eyes and I see so much adoration it breaks my heart. “Ry, I don’t want to wake up tomorrow to find you have changed your mind. I would rather fight myself daily to stay friends with you than to ruin it all in one night.”

  My tears fall freely. He is trying to protect me at the expense of himself. If I wasn’t sure of my decision before I am now.

  “Austin, regardless of how I came to my decision the fact remains I chose you. I choose you. I have never felt more alive in my entire life than
I have with you tonight. Austin Black, I am madly in love with you.”

  With tears running down my cheeks and sobs setting in I continue, “Austin, you have changed everything, you have made my life better. You are repairing my broken heart, but yes to answer your question, I am scared. I am scared of losing you and never finding another chance like this again.”

  Without as much as a word, he tugs me into him and wraps his arms around me as I continue to sob. I gently slide my hands up his strong back as I try to control my emotional outburst. My mascara is smearing on his shirt and down my cheeks. I’m sure I look like a hot mess. I know I feel like one.

  Barely above a whisper he says, “I am madly in love with you too, baby. You will never lose me Ry. I will never walk away from you willingly.”

  If only I could convince myself of that, the world would be perfect. Why does this have to be so hard? I love him, he loves me, and so this should be the easiest thing in the world, right.

  We stand there wrapped around one another for another few minutes as my breathing evens out and the tears stop falling. Stepping back from him, I see the horrific mascara stains on his crisp white shirt. His shirt now looks like an inkblot from a psychological test. “Oh crap, I ruined your shirt. I am so sorry.”

  He gives me a small smile, reaches down, and rubs his thumbs below my eyes wiping away more black goo. He then dramatically wipes it off on his shirt. “There now we are in it together and for the record you could ruin every shirt I own and I wouldn’t care. They make more shirts but there is only one of you.”

  With that, he slides his hands under my jaw and bends down to kiss me. It is the most sensual and passionate kiss of my life. Yes, we are in this together. I need to keep reminding myself of that.

  Chapter 25

  Now that Austin and I have decided we want to be together and cleared the air I am standing in the shower under the cascade of hot water contemplating our immediate future. He will be up here in a minute, he stayed behind to let Boss out one last time and to lock up. It has been over three years since I have been with a man and I have never been with someone who makes me feel the way Austin does.

  I haven’t even seen a penis in over three years. Penis is a strange word. Who in the world came up with that word? I don’t think I like that word I guess I could use dick, but that sounds like a man’s name. So what does that leave? Cock, gees that seems like such a harsh word. Cock, cock, cock it makes me giggle just thinking about saying it aloud. However, it rhymes with rock and well that makes sense. Cock rock, cock like a rock.

  Now laughing I shake my head and turn placing my face in the spray. What in the world am I thinking about, he will be up here any second and I am standing here comically debating the proper term for his anatomy, thank god thoughts cannot be heard.

  As I stand here in the shower, waiting for my boyfriend of three hours to show up I can’t help wondering how this will go. I am severely out of practice in the sex department. I have only been with two different men in my 29 years and Austin well he is sure to be more experienced than I am. I find myself worrying what if I am a huge disappointment to him or what if I turn him off completely.

  Oh god, what if I suck at sex. I mean I know Austin won’t suck with a body like his there is no possible way. As I debate whether I should run out of here sparing him my questionable sexual prowess, two strong hands glide around my waist.

  I tense at his touch not because I don’t want him to touch me but because I am overwhelmed by nervousness. He slides his arms around me and the butterflies in my stomach take flight. Leaning down and resting his chin on my shoulder he asks, “Is this ok? You are just so damn sexy standing here under the water I had to join you.” His voice seems deeper than usual and is sexy as hell.

  I reach my arms behind me and wrap them around him as best I can. “This is perfect.” Just his touch put to ease all of my doubts. I can now feel his arousal pressing into my back and decide that rock cock is the right term.

  My wayward thoughts are replaced by desire as he plants soft kisses over my neck and shoulders. When he reaches my ear, he kisses it before taking the lobe between his teeth and sucking which sends my hormones into overdrive.

  I turn into him and step back so that the water is now cascading over both of us and he lowers his delicious mouth to mine. With the water running down my face, I can barely open my eyes to take in the beauty of the man in front of me.

  The kiss starts soft, slow, and full of passion. I run my hands across his muscular back settling them at his shoulders. He breaks our connection momentarily, and I look up at him through the streams of water to find lust filled fire in his eyes. He gives me a slight smile before crashing himself into me.

  All at once, his mouth is on mine, his tongue dancing with mine, and his hands find my ass lifting me up. My legs wrap around his waist and my arms around his neck with my hands in his hair, I dive into him with the same fervor.

  He braces me up against the tiled wall that is warm from the steam in the shower. His length is now rubbing against my aching core. I want him to enter me and I try to make that clear by grinding myself against him. He removes one hand from my ass and massages my breast before pulling the nipple into his mouth biting softly causing my insides to tighten with pleasure. Switching sides, he toys with the other nipple and I nearly explode biting down on his shoulder.

  He smiles a wicked smile at me knowing I am close to losing control. “Baby, I won’t last long if you keep doing that,” he growls in my ear.

  I continue grinding against him in search of that sweet release. “Please Austin,” is all I can manage, and it comes out breathless and needy.

  “I don’t have protection in here,” he whispers while continuing his delectable assault on my body.

  “I have it covered,” I pant needing him more by the second. I don’t have it in me to explain I have an IUD and all the details right now.

  He looks at me as if asking permission and I nod my head. His arm slides under my ass as he guides me further up the wall placing his length at my entrance. “Are you sure Ry, I won’t be able to stop myself after this.”

  The want in his eyes is clear behind the droplets of water falling from his eyelashes. I reply by melding my mouth to his. My god he is sexy. He responds by lowering me onto him and I gasp at the sudden intrusion. He fills me completely, stretching my velvet walls to the point of pain, but he stills allowing my body time to adjust.

  Once he is fully inside me, I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding and the pain is replaced with pleasure. “Fuck Ry, you are so tight baby. You feel amazing.” His words alone almost undo me as he pumps in and out of me at a gentle pace.

  My body is tightening around him and my nails are dig into his back as I climb higher and higher. “God, Austin… Austin.”

  My sex clinches around him. He moves faster and after a few rounds, I come apart at the seams. My wetness drenches him as I go limp. He slams into me hard and fast a few times before finding his own release. I have never in my life come that hard or that easily. I knew he would be good!

  I run my hands up and down his back as he rests his head on my shoulder. I find it amazing, after all of that, he is still holding me. Of course, I am not sure if he put me down I could stand. My body feels like jelly.

  I can hear his breathing begin to even out when he raises his head finding my eyes with a small smile. “Ry, you, you are absolutely breathtaking.”

  Placing my hands on either side of his face, I smile lovingly at him. “No, darling you are the one who takes my breath away.”

  Right on cue, the water runs cool, and he reaches over to shut it off. He kisses on the lips. “I am going to set you down and go grab us some towels, okay?”

  I brace myself for the inevitable cold that will come when his heat leaves me. “Ok.”

  After Austin leaves the walk-in shower to get towels I stand there predictably cold and missing his body heat. I realize though I don’t just miss his heat
I miss his arms around me. I miss his comfort and reassurance. I never thought the day would come where I wanted someone with me and intertwined with me again.

  In the span of one day, my world has been transformed. When he walks back in with a black towel wrapped around his waist holding two more for me I cannot help staring at him. He is gorgeous. He has turned my world upside down and doesn’t even realize it. Without a word, he wraps me into one of the big fluffy towels and holds me until I warm up. He leans down and rains kisses on my neck as he runs his hands up and down my sides before whispering, “Let’s go to bed, baby.”

  Before I can climb into bed and give my body the rest it is now demanding, I have to dry my hair and at least comb through it. “I’ll meet you in there, I have to get ready.” He pouts at me before heading back into the bedroom.

  As I am wrapping the towel around my body like all girls do, I hear Austin call, “You had better hurry or I am coming back in there and I will carry you into bed with me.”

  I can’t help giggling at his demand. “Keep your pants on, I will be right there.” I sure hope he doesn't put pants on.

  I towel dry my hair with purpose and run a comb through it. There is no way it will dry soon so I opt for a quick French braid. Just as I am wrapping a band around the end, I see him reappear behind me in nothing but his boxer shorts. “Let me grab my clothes and I am coming.”

  He laughs at me. “Oh, no you don’t I told you to hurry, and you didn’t so I am here to make good on my promise.”

  With that, he lunges towards me and picks me up throwing me over his shoulder. “Put me down, I said I was coming.” I am laughing as I squirm and swat his glorious ass, but it does nothing to deter him. He carries me into his bedroom and tosses me in the center of his huge bed.

  In a moment of playfulness, I taunt him. “Well, you got me here now what are you going to do.”