Not Enough: Is love ever enough? (The Enough Series Book 1) Read online

  I give him a tight smile. “Let me shower and change then we can go out and forget about this mess. This shit right here is why I do not date,” I say motioning to my tear stained cheeks.

  Thirty minutes later, I have showered and dressed in a short red dress with a halter-top. The skirt flows outward and the back dips obscenely low. The neckline plunges into a tight v and shows just a small amount of cleavage. I want to channel my inner goddess tonight. With Bode and J around, I will be in no danger from the opposite sex. I slide on a pair of black strap heels that wrap around my ankle and give me another four inches of height. With a little mascara and lip-gloss, I am ready to party regardless of how much my heart is hurting. I left my hair down and for once, it is cooperating by falling into silky waves down my exposed back. I grab my black shawl and set off to find J.

  He is dressed in his usual party attire a black button down shirt, jeans, and black boots. He rolls up the sleeves showing off his well-defined forearms. Jeremy may be my brother but even I can tell you he looks good. J looks at me shocked. “No way Ry, you are not wearing that. I do not want any trouble tonight.”

  I roll my eyes. “Whatever, I can take care of myself. Let’s go.”

  It is nice to know he thinks I look good even if that is not the words he chose to express himself. After a small protest, J gives in and we head out to dinner. We will then move on to one of the most exclusive clubs in Boston, Legacy.

  I wish Austin were coming with us, and I worry I will not be able to let it go all night. No, I will. I have to push it aside and enjoy a night out with my family.

  Chapter 22

  We arrive at the club a little after ten pm, and the line is wrapped around the building. J pulls up to the valet stand, and the attendant opens my door. As I climb out J comes around and grabs my hand. The music is thumping, and I try to psych myself up for the night. I will have fun. If I repeat it to myself enough maybe it will be true. We walk past the restless line and through the VIP entrance. J playing in the NFL has its benefits.

  Once we are inside I realize I left my shawl in the car. I feel overly exposed as we make our way to the bar. The club is understated with black and silver decor. The dance floor is sparsely populated. I figure most people are still working on their buzz level. J keeps his arm around me as we make our way to the main bar.

  “What do you want,” J yells at me over the loud music in the background. Before I can answer, two arms slide around my waist as someone kisses my neck. I turn around ready to fight before I see the golden boy himself.

  “Bode,” I exclaim as I throw my arms around his neck. He lifts me up into a huge hug almost exposing my backside. “I am so glad you are back, what changed your mind?”

  He gives me a panty dropping smile just before six tequila shots appear. “It is time to party boys and girls,” he exclaims with authority.

  After downing the shots, we turn leaning against the bar to survey the fast filling club. “Hey Bode,” Jeremy yells over me, “I got us a VIP booth upstairs.”

  As the two of them converse and plot out a course for the evening, I suddenly find my body is on fire and can’t fight the notion someone is staring at me. I try to ignore the sensation by ordering another round before we head up to the booth and settle in for the night. After throwing back one more shot of tequila Bode leans down to whisper in my ear. “Got any idea why Austin is looking at me like he is going to kill me?” There is no way I heard him correctly. Austin cannot be here.

  “What, who is looking at you,” I ask for clarification.

  “Oh, honey he isn’t looking at me. He is looking at you.” I turn around slowly and receive a tight smile from J confirming I am about to come face to face with Austin.

  After an about face my eyes find the beautiful blue eyes I have been longing to see. A multitude of emotions passes through them. I can make out anger and lust, but I am not clear on the others. We stare at each other for what feels like an eternity before he turns and stalks across the dance floor. I continue to watch him for a moment, he looks amazing in his black jeans that fit his ass perfectly, white dress shirt and boots. He makes his way over to a table full of guys, including Cardie who gives me a sad smile. Relief floods my body. At least he isn’t with another woman.

  “You want to leave Ry,” J asks me with concern.

  “No, J, I am fine.” I need another shot after than encounter. It shaping up to be a long night. After my fourth shot of tequila in the past ten minutes, I have slight buzz.

  When we turn to leave the bar and head up to the VIP area J stops dead in his tracks me causing me to run smack into his back. “What the hell J,” I ask irritated.

  I step around J to see Austin on the dance floor with a gorgeous woman grinding all over him. He does not seem to pay her much attention since he is busy glaring at me. My heart feels like it has fallen from my body and my hands are trembling. I cannot stand the sight of her on Austin.

  J looks at me with pity and says, “I am going to go put a stop to this shit right now. Nobody treats you like this.” I reach out and grab his arm pulling him back.

  “No, I will take care of this one. You told me I needed to face him right,” I ask trying to convince myself.

  He hesitates before nodding his head. ”Are you sure Ry?”

  With a subtle shake of my head I reply, “We will be right here if you need us.” I smile at J and then Bode who seems taken back by the events.

  As I walk across the dance floor I cannot help wondering what am I doing. What am I going to say when I get to him? It is a short walk so I don’t have much time to formulate a coherent plan. He holds my gaze the entire way. Once I reach him, the pretty blonde stops dancing and looks at me with understanding.

  I turn my gaze from Austin to her, “Please excuse me, but I need to cut in.” She looks from me to Austin and then turns around and dances with another girl. Now Austin and I are standing in the middle of the dance floor at odds with one another and it is time I put an end to it.

  He stares at me hesitantly the hurt clear in his eyes. A myriad of other emotions I cannot make out in the low lighting flash behind the hurt. I take a deep steadying breath, attempting to control my overflow of emotions, and place my hands on his perfect chest. “Austin, I am so sorry.”

  He scans my face and I see sadness replace the anger in his eyes before he looks away. Austin keeps his gaze on the floor as he mumbles, “Ry, I can’t.” He doesn’t finish the thought, but I know where he’s headed. This isn’t just about today; he can’t keep up with my roller coaster of emotions. He loves me and I love him, time to end this ridiculous cycle. It is now or never, Rylee. He will walk away and this time it will be your fault.

  With my body trembling and my heart in my throat, I reach my hands up to his smooth face and direct his gaze back to me. ”I know Aus, I do.” I stare at him for a moment with tears in my eyes before pulling him towards me and crushing my lips to his. His shock is evident in the stiffening of his posture before he relaxes and wraps his arms tightly around me. He takes over the kiss with more passion than I ever imagined could exist. My body comes alive in his arms. I remove my hands from his face and secure them around his neck holding on as if my life depends on it.

  We stand in the center of the dance floor pouring our unspoken emotions into one another before he pulls away and rests his forehead against mine. My heart is still pounding and I am suddenly very nervous. Still looking at the floor, I am unsure what else to say so I ask, “Forgive me?”

  Austin lifts his head from mine and places a finger under my chin forcing me to meet his gaze. He has the biggest smile on his face as he replies, “That depends.”

  I cannot help smiling back at this beautiful man. “Depends on what exactly, pretty boy?”

  He laughs a genuine laugh and laces his fingers through mine. “We have an audience. Why don’t we talk somewhere a little more private?”

  I glance around the club and realize we have become the center of attention. I c
an feel my cheeks turning red. “Well, nothing like giving the masses a floor show I suppose.” He shakes his head as he leads me off the dance floor towards the bar.

  We walk towards a secluded hallway that is lined with offices and storage closets. Out of the main club area, Austin stops and turns to face me. His eyes are on fire with a look that screams desire. “It depends on whether that,” he motions towards the dance floor, “Comes with at least a little of your trust.”

  I can tell by his tone of voice and intense gaze that he needs an answer. I give him the only answer I think will reassure him, I kiss him again. It starts out sweet and tender before he takes control. He slides me up against the wall with one hand still laced through mine. I run my free hand through his hair and pull him in closer as he unlaces our fingers and moves both of his hands to my hips. Our tongues dance together and our hands roam one another as we explore this new side of our relationship.

  Things are heating up until I hear someone clear their throat. Austin pulls back a fraction to assess the unwelcome intruder. I am beyond embarrassed somehow, in the last ten minutes, I have gone from the self-proclaimed ice queen of abstinence to dry humping Austin in the back of a club.

  “Rylee, are you good?” Oh shit, Jeremy. I should have known he would come to check on me.

  I run my fingers down the side of my lips to clear up any wayward lip-gloss before facing my brother. “Yeah, I’m good, J.”

  He looks at me with a small smile and shakes his head before turning his attention to Austin. “Hey bro, I’m good as long as my sister is happy, but do you think you can keep from defiling her in public please.”

  Austin looks at me with a mischievous smile and then turns back to Jeremy. “Yeah, sorry about that. She shocked the shit out of me tonight.”

  J gives me a quick wink and walks away. “Why don’t you two meet us upstairs when you're done,” he hollers over his shoulder re-entering the club.

  I am standing with my back to Austin who inches forward and wraps both arms around my waist. I lean back laying my head on his shoulder and sigh before placing my arms across his. This feels so amazing and natural but also terrifying. I have just taken the first step towards my future.

  Just as my mind begins to race, Austin gives me a light squeeze and asks, “Do we need to talk about this?” We will need to talk about all of this eventually, but I don’t think now is the time.

  I uncross my arms and turn into his chest causing him to loosen his grip. “Not right now. Let’s go enjoy the night.” He is still looking at me with disbelief. I smile, give him a quick peck on the lips, and grab his hand to drag him back towards the bar. We cannot stay back here. We don't need to end up in jail for indecent exposure, and I am sure there would be exposure if we stay.

  Reaching the bar Austin orders us two beers. I watch him as he takes a long pull from the bottle and I can’t stop smiling, he is flustered. In the time, I have known Austin I have never seen him bothered by anything. It is good to see I affect him. He catches me staring and smiles that million-dollar smile making me want to take him home now. He leans down and whispers in my ear, “I cannot believe how fucking sexy you look in that dress. I already knew you were gorgeous, but wow Rylee, you are stunning.” Yep, definitely need to get him home.

  Just as I begin to thank him, two hands grip my waist from behind and Austin’s body goes rigid. From behind me, Bode asks, “Are you having a nice time with my girl here?” Austin looks ready to explode with anger in his eyes and a ticking jaw.

  I can’t help giggling as I reach out to calm him. “Austin, let me introduce you to Bode.” Then I turn to Bode, “Bode meet Austin Black. I do not need you to scare him away. So stop causing trouble.” I give him a playful slap on the hand.

  Bode laughs and extends a hand to Austin. “Sorry man, old habits die hard.” Austin takes his hand hesitantly. I can tell he is still unnerved by the situation that is until he possessively pulls me into him and begins to relax.

  We all chat for a moment, and I explain to Austin that Bode has always pretended to be my boyfriend when we go out to keep unwanted men away from me. Bode tells Austin he is a fan, and they are talking football when I excuse myself to go to the ladies’ room. “I will run freshen up, and then we should all go meet J and Eric upstairs before they send out a search party.”

  Austin squeezes my hand and gives me a quick kiss on the cheek. “You all right?” I can tell he is still worried I will run for the hills the first chance I get. I can’t say I won’t at some point, but right now, I wouldn’t dream of it.

  I lean in close to his ear, seductively lick it, and whisper, “I will be right back, I swear.”

  He nods. “I’ll wait right here then.”

  Chapter 23

  I hurry to the bathroom sure I am about to pee in my pants. Thankfully, the bathroom isn’t crowded and I walk right into a stall. I sit down and wait for sweet relief that doesn’t seem to come. What the hell?

  I can feel the knot in my abdomen and a fullness that feels like a full bladder. I wait another moment and a tiny tinkle comes that does nothing to loosen the knot in my belly. As I go to clean myself, I realize I am beyond wet. Leave it to me to confuse urination and horny. However, in my defense it has been nearly four years since anyone has had the opportunity to elicit those feelings. I’m a do-it-yourself kind of girl in that department either. Well, shit what am I going to do now? I guess it is time Austin and I get out of here.

  Just as I am straightening my dress and readying to leave the stall, two women walk into the bathroom giggling. One says, “Holy shit, did you see those two?” I know I should probably leave the stall, but I am curious where their conversation is headed.

  The other girl responds, “I know, that was intense. I would kill to have a man look at me like that.”

  Are they talking about Austin and I, I wonder. “Well, at least you got to dance with Austin freaking Black.”

  She claps her hands before her friend responds, “Yeah but there is no way I could compete with that woman who cut in. He wants her.”

  Well now, I feel a little bad for her. Her friend responds, “Oh honey, there are very few women in the world that could compete with that goddess. Her legs went on forever, and her hair,” she pauses before resuming, “And yeah he definitely wants her, the look on his face was pure passion.”

  I quickly decide to stop eavesdropping so I flush the toilet and make my way out of the stall. As I walk towards the sinks where they are standing, I smile at the blonde who was dancing with Austin. She starts blushing obviously aware I could hear their exchange from the bathroom stall.

  “Hi, I would like to thank you for earlier,” I say to her.

  She looks at me like I lost my mind, “Why would you thank me?”

  I step to the sink and begin washing my hands. “Well, I thank you because you did not create a scene. I appreciate it.”

  She gives me a small smile. “Oh, well you are welcome. But to be honest, I could tell by the way he was looking at you that he wouldn’t have noticed if I had stripped down naked.”

  The way she says that last line is very self-deprecating. I feel like I should explain that what happened out there in no way reflected on her. “Things between Austin and I are complicated and I am sorry you were caught in it.”

  While drying my hands an idea forms. “Hey ladies we have a table upstairs and while I can’t share Austin, my brother and his best friend are single and gorgeous.”

  They both stare at me in complete shock so I continue. “If you are just looking for a good time those two are perfect, but if you are looking for a forever kind of thing they might be trouble. You are welcome to join us if you would like.”

  They look at each other and nod before the brunette responds, “Sure that sounds awesome thanks. I am Abby and this is my friend Haley.”

  I smile at them both, “I am Rylee, why don’t we go introduce you girls to Jeremy and Bode.”

  I admit I have an ulterior motive here,
I figure if I can pair J and Bode up Austin and I can leave unnoticed and embrace the raging hormones coursing through my system. I have been dreaming of getting to this point with Austin and I see no reason we should prolong the wait now.

  We walk out of the bathroom together with Abby and Haley whispering how excited they are. If they only knew how much trouble J and Bode can be. I will warn those two boys to be on their best behavior. I have caused poor Haley enough self-doubt tonight.

  Both girls stand about six inches shorter than me even with six-inch heels on. Abby has long brunette hair and bright brown eyes. Haley is a beautiful girl with shoulder length blonde hair and deep green eyes. She has a great body with curves in all the right places, I can’t figure out why she doubts herself.

  As we near the bar, I lock eyes with Austin and I see a flash of panic in his eyes as he sees the two girls with me. Bode on the other hand gives be a huge smile and wink. I am glad to see he is back to his old self.

  Walking straight up to Austin I put my arm around his waist and introduce him and Bode to the girls. Bode offers to buy them a drink. They accept happily. Austin leans down in to my ear, “Make some friends in the bathroom?”

  I elbow him playfully in the ribs and turn into him to explain, “I felt bad for her. I won’t share you, but Bode and J are free so why not. Plus, if I distract J and Bode with beautiful women they won’t notice when we slip out of here shortly.” I raise my eyebrows at him suggestively.

  He gives me a quick squeeze and kisses my neck. “I like the way you think gorgeous.” Yep, time to get out of here. Austin kissing my neck and his warm breath grazing my skin has ratcheted up the excitement in my nether region to near unmanageable levels. I’m forced to squeeze my thighs together just to try to extinguish the fire.

  We all make our way upstairs to the private table and J jumps up, “It’s about damn time,” and then he notices Abby and Haley so I introduce them.