Loving Enough (The Enough Series Book 2) Read online

  I never saw the light. What I did see was a blossoming hatred for my mother. Through all of this, I tried to protect my sister. Ally is eight years younger than I am, but was old enough then to understand what was going on. My mother refused to tell Ally the truth about what was happening, so I did.

  By Christmas that year, things had settled down some and everyone was living in a somewhat peaceful existence. I had regained the privilege of leaving the house unattended and promptly used it to make things worse.

  On December 27th my buddy Alex and I met up at the old hangout and proceeded have a few beers. I was shocked when Amanda showed up looking for me. I hugged her tight around her growing baby bump and we sat under the stars catching up, just like old times.

  By the time we needed to leave, I realized I couldn’t take Amanda home since I was on my motorcycle. Alex offered to take Amanda home and I agreed. We were heading down the back side of the hill when Alex swerved and drove straight into a tree. The sound of the metal crushing, rubber burning, and gas leaking will forever be etched into my brain.

  I threw my bike down and ran to the car. The primary impact was on the passenger side, leaving Amanda trapped and unconscious. Realizing I couldn’t get her out, I went around to help Alex . He seemed dazed, but otherwise unharmed.

  Once Alex was out of the car, I searched for his cell phone to no avail. I had left mine at home that night wanting to remain unreachable to my mother. After checking on Alex one last time, I hopped on my bike and raced down the hill to the local convenience store to call 911.

  It took the firefighters nearly thirty minutes to extricate Amanda from the car and she never once regained consciousness. Alex was arrested on suspicion of DUI and I followed the ambulance to the hospital.

  Unfortunately, I never saw Amanda. Once her parents arrived, I was booted from the premises. The only communication I ever had from them again was a phone call, telling me that our baby had passed away in the accident. I was barred from the funeral and had a permanent restraining order taken out against me. I was not allowed within two hundred yards of Amanda.

  My mother claims that it was my sins that killed my child. She says that, if I had lived a proper life, none of this would have ever transpired. What I have never figured out is why she is so attached to a child that would have been born out of wedlock and, in her eyes, a bastard.

  I never really got over the loss; I was never allowed to mourn. Once my mom said her piece, we were never to speak of it again and we haven’t … until today. She now claims she saw Amanda two weeks ago with a child approximately nine years old. The same age my child would have been.

  Chapter 19

  Rylee

  It is Sunday afternoon and J is set to be released from the hospital tomorrow morning. The past three days have been excruciatingly slow. I finally took leave from the hospital, in part to get some work done and in part because J is extremely irritable.

  I am sitting on my bed hoping that Austin will call before I head back up to the hospital with dinner for my brother. Ruzek is downstairs watching television, or whatever it is he does when he is convinced I am safe in my surroundings.

  After the cell phone switch, Ruzek and I had a long talk at lunch concerning my safety. He unilaterally decided that he would be my round-the-clock bodyguard until further notice. I understand his concerns and I appreciate his commitment, but I am still not convinced I am the one in need of protection. The threats are always aimed at Austin, J, or Bode. Ruzek, however, feels I could be in more danger now that Austin, Bode, and J are unreachable. I see his point and it terrifies me that he could be right.

  Besides Ruzek, I have another officer stationed outside the house twenty-four hours a day and we have an unmarked escort on the road. So far the increased police presence has not deterred the stalker at all. I still receive a few texts a day. They are primarily an attempt to gain my affection, although he shows some discontent with Ruzek’s presence.

  Looking at my bedside clock, I see I have about an hour before we need to go pick up J’s dinner. I ordered his favorite, spaghetti and meatballs, from a local Italian bistro and I’m hoping it will cheer him up. Deciding I should get a move on, I start packing my bags for the trip to New York. The few things J requested are already packed and ready to go.

  I sort through my closet, pull out enough clothes for the week, and place them into my hanging suitcase. I am leaving for New York tomorrow so I can accompany J home and get him settled.

  Sorting through my comfortable clothes, I pull out one of Austin’s t-shirts. Holding it to my face I breathe in his scent and it sends my heart spinning. I miss him; he has been gone a week and things have been off the past few days.

  I cannot pinpoint what exactly is going on with Austin, but he is not his usual self. He doesn’t call as often and texts even less. When I do talk to him, it seems like his focus is somewhere else. I know he had some drama to deal with at home, but I feel like we are falling apart.

  Deciding to break our radio silence, I shoot Austin a quick text.

  Me: I Love you Aus and miss you tons

  I toss my phone down on the bed and head into my bathroom to pack up what I can before tomorrow. I know J will be itching to hit the road as soon as he is released. I hear my phone ring and hustle into my room to answer, hoping it is Austin. It is, putting an immediate smile on my face.

  “Hey, baby, how are you?” I say with pep to my voice.

  He responds with a grunting, “I’m OK. Sorry I didn’t call. I lost track of time. Things are a disaster here.”

  He sounds upset, stressed, and annoyed that he is being forced to talk to me, which irritates me.

  “It’s fine, Austin, you didn’t have to call. I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you, but I’ll let you go.”

  I hear a deep exhale on the other end of the line and I try to steel my nerves. He doesn’t sound good. After a few minutes of silence or brooding, I don’t know which, he finally responds.

  “I’m sorry, Ry, things are just a complete clusterfuck down here. I don’t know what to do. I miss you and I feel like things are coming at me from all sides. I just want to come home and be with you.”

  I feel a little better, but I wonder what is going on that has him so distraught.

  “Aus, do you want to talk about it? I’m here for you whatever you need. You know that, right?” I can hear what sounds like silent tears. “Austin, baby, what is going on? Talk to me please.”

  Clearing his throat, he responds, “I’m fine, Ry. I will tell you all about this soon, but not today. I can’t until I am sure I know what the hell is going on. You have more than enough to deal with right now.”

  Now I am worried and a little pissed. He dropped everything to come and be with me when I needed him most, but he won’t let me close enough to his situation to help at all.

  “Austin, sweetheart, that is not how a relationship works. I am here if you need me. We have things under control around here. Please let me in, tell me what’s going on.”

  Just as he is about to answer, I hear his mom shout.

  “Austin, get your ass in here! The floozy and her parents just pulled up.”

  With alarm lacing to my voice, I ask, “Austin, what is going on? Who is there to see you?”

  He huffs loudly. “I’ve got to go, Ry. I love you, baby. Please trust me; we will talk about this later, I promise. There is no one else in this world for me, Ry. I love you.”

  And with that, the line goes dead.

  I am now both pissed off and shocked. I throw my phone down and fall into pillows headfirst. My mind races with all the possibilities. I know his mom is very religious and whoever is at the house probably isn’t a floozy. That knowledge does not soothe my temper though. A floozy by any definition is a woman and I don’t like him hanging out with a woman he refuses to talk to me about. For all I know, his mom has signed him up for an arranged marriage to assuage his supposed sins.

  Well, that might be taking
it too far … but what am I supposed to think when he won’t tell me anything? Why can’t we catch a break? What does the world have against Austin and me?

  Chapter 20

  Rylee

  Moving J back to New York was a chore, albeit a chore I was happy to complete. He was released from the hospital around ten this morning and it only took us six hours to make the drive to NYC.

  I rented a large SUV with captain’s chairs in the back, hoping it would make things more comfortable for him. Apparently it did not. In all fairness, I don’t think anything besides a tranquilizer will make him comfortable at this point.

  Between the cast on his leg and the sling for his arm, he could not find a comfortable position. We stopped numerous times, which didn’t particularly help the situation. He did not approve of my wheelchair driving ability or my help getting him in and out of the stupid chair.

  I felt useless all day. No matter what I did, I could not ease his pain. That point killed me over and over again, because he would not be in pain if it were not for me. We had a decent hour once his pain meds kicked in. During that hour, we joked around and it felt like old times, when we took road trips during college.

  I finally got J and all of our things up to his penthouse apartment a few minutes ago. I’m exhausted. Austin and I haven’t spoken since the bizarre call yesterday. I have racked my brain trying to figure out what is going on with him, but I have no ideas. I guess he will tell me when he is ready - or not. I am too tired to dwell on it now.

  I still need to get J squared away in bed and make sure he eats something. His nurse will be here in the morning, so I just have to push through until then. The unfortunate part is that his apartment is definitely not accessible. There are elevation changes between rooms and most of the doorways are not wide enough to fit a wheelchair. I make a mental note to talk to the building manager about a temporary fix in the morning.

  I have two days to make sure J is as comfortable as possible before the draft starts. Gabe will be here late tomorrow so that we can go over the final details and make sure we are on the same page. During the draft there isn’t much for us to do; it is the after party we throw that has to go off without a hitch. During the day, we serve as moral support for our clients and mingle with the brass of the league.

  After setting my suitcase down in the spare bedroom, I head back to the living room in search of J. I suppose it isn’t much of a search, considering he cannot get around himself. The sling on his arm prevents him from wheeling his own chair.

  Jeremy’s apartment is beautiful. Being on the top floor, he has windows that give a three hundred and sixty degree view of Manhattan. The wooden floors are stained a deep mahogany and the leather furniture and glass accent pieces give it an ultra-modern feel.

  J is at the window, staring at the sunset falling behind Manhattan with a forlorn look on his face. I know this situation is hard for my brother because he has never had to depend on anyone. He has always been the one to take care of the people around him. He never blinked when our parents left us alone in the world and has always put everyone around him first. I would give anything to take away his pain.

  I walk up and place a hand on his shoulder to let him know I am back in the room.

  “So are you glad to be home?”

  He reaches up, patting my hand. “Yeah, I just wish things were easier, you know? I hate having to depend on you for everything.”

  He sounds defeated. I totally called that one: I know him as well as he knows himself.

  “I know J, but that is what I am here for. You would do the same for me, and have done occasionally, so just let me return the favor.” I try to infuse sincerity in every word.

  He stays quiet and continues to stare out over the orange tinted horizon. Giving him space, I go to the kitchen and grab a handful of the takeout menus he keeps hidden away. I bet he has a takeout menu for every restaurant in a twenty-block radius. He might take care of all the people in his life, but we would all die of starvation if he had to cook.

  I sort through the menus, unsure of what to do for dinner. I finally holler back to him.

  “Hey, who do you want to order from? Bad Chinese, sandwiches, pizza? You name it, I’ll get it.”

  After a few more minutes of silence, I lay the menus down on the black, marble countertop and make my way back to J. As I round the corner to the living room, I hear what sound like light sobs. Oh no. I am not sure I know how to deal with my brother’s tears. I have never seen him cry, not even when our parents died. He has always been the strong one.

  Sure enough, as I come to rest on my knees in front of him, I see the tears flowing down his beautiful face. Not sure what to do, I place both hands on his legs, one on the cast and the other on his knee.

  “Jeremy Ash, look at me.”

  He raises his head slightly, revealing the despair in his soulful green eyes, and seeing my brother in this much pain breaks me. I rise onto my knees and place my hands on either side of his face.

  “We will get through this, J. It’s just me and you, like it’s always been. We haven’t failed yet, even with the odds against us. No matter what happens WE. WILL. GET. THROUGH. THIS. There is no other choice. Do you hear me?”

  I wipe the tears from his face as he gives me a small smile. “I hear you, Ry, I do. We have been through worse, not that it makes this any easier, but I hear you.”

  My brother breaking down shows how rough this situation is on all of us. Not only is he fighting his physical ailments, but this also forces him to step outside of his emotional comfort zone. I am not great at pep talks for J because I have never had to do much more than cheer him on. I want to tell him that everything will be fine, but the truth is I don’t know that for certain. How his body will recover from the injuries is still an unknown and how his body heals will directly affect his emotional state.

  We cannot dwell on that now. Now it is time to be positive.

  “Good. I am glad we are on the same page because it would be a damn shame for me to have to kill you now. After all, I spent the past few weeks begging for you to live.”

  I can’t help giggling when he breaks out in full blown laughter.

  “Yeah, no. I definitely don’t need you killing me now. So what’s for dinner? Let’s end this pity party and get on with it.”

  I am so thankful to hear those words and see his smile. I do not know what I would do without him and thank God I didn’t have to find out.

  We end up ordering a pizza and binging on Netflix for the rest of the evening. Pizza has always been our fallback comfort food. The day may have been rough, but in the end we found our footing. We will get through this no matter what life throws at us. I will make sure of it.

  Chapter 21

  Rylee

  The next few days passes in a blur as J becomes accustomed to his situation. Dani, the nurse I hired, is a godsend. She seems oblivious to his occasional mood swings and keeps him in line. J, however, was a little displeased that he did not get the naughty nursemaid I joked about.

  In fairness, Dani is a beautiful girl. She is petite, maybe standing five foot four with shoes. She has shoulder-length, black hair that frames her face and makes her brown eyes look almost black. J has taken notice of her looks and attempts flirting with her daily. She shoots him down every time, although I think she may succumb to his wicked charms.

  Kasey, his on-again, off-again girlfriend, came by yesterday and rattled the walls with her angry outburst. She was upset, and rightfully so, that no one called her after the accident. It never crossed my mind to call her, since I am not accustomed to my brother having any type of girlfriend.

  She yelled at me and then at J before breaking down into a fit of ugly tears. Once she finished unleashing her anger, she babied Jeremy, which drove him nuts. He sent her home and she has called almost every hour since. He made me silence his cell phone a few hours ago and threatened to change his number if it didn’t end soon. Something tells me this relationship has run its
course. J does not do needy.

  The draft begins tonight, and I have been fielding calls all day from different teams inquiring about my clients. It seems that at least seven of them should go in the first round, which will make this my most successful year yet. I am apprehensive about leaving J, even though I know Dani can handle him. The truth is, I am concerned about my stalker friend. He has been silent for nearly twenty-four hours. I can only hope that he has lost interest, but somehow I doubt we are that lucky.

  Gabe is at the hotel overseeing the preparations for the after party tonight. We like to throw a party every year in honor of all our new clients. The event is catered and open to anyone who wishes to come, including friends, family, and even players we do not represent. After tonight we will only see each player a few times a year, since they will all be off to cities across the country.

  Last year approximately four hundred people showed up, and we were caught off guard without enough space, food, or booze. This year we have secured a much larger space and hired out a highly recommended catering company. The hotel’s event planning staff is taking care of the music and decorations, which is what Gabe is currently overseeing. So far, he is pleased with the progress.

  Due to the sheer number of people that will attend tonight, and the ability for someone to go unnoticed, Ruzek decided to be my date for the night. I was delighted when he informed me he was coming. I would be lying if I said that I was not concerned about my safety this evening. The relative silence of the nutjob, plus the easy access, worries me.

  All the recent texts from my so-called admirer have been mundane and then ceased the day before yesterday. He hinted that he will see me soon and that our time together will be unforgettable. I wish he would forget me and move on already.

  I miss Austin a great deal, especially since we haven’t talked much since he went to Texas. It would have been nice to have him here to support me tonight. Then again, he would draw a ton of attention. The reigning league MVP at the draft would draw loads of attention from the media and most of the prospects. But he definitely would have made delicious arm candy.