Not Enough: Is love ever enough? (The Enough Series Book 1) Read online

  I lean into his comforting embrace. “Yeah everything is great,” and right now, it truly is. I could not ask for anything more.

  After a wonderful breakfast, I left the boys to clean up the kitchen while I went for a shower. I took my time enjoying the luxurious warmth and pressure of Austin's shower. The past forty-eight hours have been a whirlwind to say the least, and I needed some time to catch my breath. While I am ecstatic Austin and I are giving us a chance I am still leery of the happily ever after sentiment considering I was harshly burned the last time I believed in that fairytale.

  Generally, on Sundays I get a good workout in, lounge around a bit, and prepare for the upcoming week. Bearing in mind our earlier escapades in the kitchen, I guess I can check workout off my to-do list.

  The first step out of the shower is cold before I wrap up in a towel. My bathroom routine is interrupted by Austin’s ringing phone. I try to make over to answer it but fail miserably when I neglect to see Boss sprawled out in front of the bathroom door. I end up face down on the floor barely covered by my towel and being licked to death by my loyal puppy dog who apologizes for his part in my current situation. I can’t help laughing at the situation and be grateful no one was around to see my gracefulness in action.

  Pushing up off the floor, I rewrap my towel around me when that damn phone begins ringing again. Careful to avoid a repeat of my last attempt I step around Boss and lunge to his bedside table. “Mom” is flashing on the screen. I decide to answer it if only so she can hold while I get Austin. “Hello,” I say as calmly as I can even though I suddenly have a million butterflies in my stomach. I feel very exposed and never imagined the first time I spoke to any of his family, let alone his mother, I would be half-naked and still dripping from a shower. At least it is over the phone and not in person, I suppose.

  “And who may I ask is answering my son’s phone,” she asks with anger in her voice.

  I suddenly realize I don’t even know her name. This was a bad idea. I can’t imagine why she is angry, but I try to answer her in the sweetest tone I can manage. “Ma’am, I am Rylee. I am a friend of Austin’s. If you give me a moment I will get him for you.”

  I hear a loud huff as she begins to respond. “Look little girl, I will not allow you to damn my son’s soul with your sinful ways.” What the hell did she just say? My nervousness is suddenly replaced with anger. It is not as if I told her I am the one who screwed her son six ways from Sunday the past 24 hours, but her comment certainly implies she took it that way.

  I take a deep breath to calm myself not really knowing how to respond to this woman. Austin has never really told me much about his mother so I don’t even begin to know where to start with her. “Um ok, I’ll get Austin.”

  I press mute and yell down the stairs for Austin to get his fine ass up here. She is still on the line and it sounds as if she is praying. I hastily unmute the phone to tell her Austin is on his way before re-muting the device.

  I will admit I am not an overly religious person, but I do believe that what is between two consenting adults is their own business. I certainly do not believe I am damning Austin to hell. As I stand here waiting for him, it occurs to me that his family may never approve of me. His mother’s accusation is proof enough. All I can think to myself is there it is the reason this relationship is doomed to fail, like all others.

  I am standing next to the bed shivering and holding Austin’s phone like a bomb ready to explode when he finally shows. He looks at me with concern as he notes the sadness in my expression. I shove his phone towards him. “It’s your mom, and fair warning apparently I have damned your soul.”

  His beautiful blue eyes fill with shock and if I am not mistaken terror as he takes the phone from my outstretched hand. As I tighten my towel around me, he tries to pull me into him but I just bow my head and walk away feeling defeated.

  Once I am back in the relative safety of the bathroom I towel dry my hair and put on some clean red lace undergarments. I am not really in the mood for sexy lingerie, but I didn’t bring any others. It is ironic in a way, I suppose, I could get myself a pointed tail and some devil horns to complete the outfit. Seeing as how I am damning him to hell already what harm could it do? Smirking to myself, I apply some of my favorite cucumber melon body lotion before pulling on my tight black yoga pants and red workout top.

  I didn’t think to grab any make-up so I take one last look in the mirror only to see Austin walk in still on the phone. He gives me an apologetic smile, and I stare at him in the mirror as he continues to stalk towards me. Once he reaches me, he pulls me in close, wraps his free arm around my torso, and spins me into him. I can feel the unease and tension radiating through his strong embrace and I instinctively kiss his chest causing him to squeeze me tighter. We stand there holding one another and I begin to feel him relax a bit.

  “Mom, I am not having this conversation with you,” Austin states with a huff. “What I choose to do is my business.” This statement makes me perk up; maybe just maybe he won’t allow an ultimatum to be forced upon him.

  Being this close to him, I can hear his mother scolding him for not being at church and for having a girl at his house. It was all fairly mundane and pointless banter that I assume most teenage boys hear from their parents regularly, the only problem is Austin is a grown man. I am getting tired of listening to her ridiculous nagging and want to hurry the conversation along.

  Just as I am running my hand down his rippled chest, I am struck by her yelling, “You have already taken the life of my only grandchild. How much more destruction and shame are you going to cause?”

  Austin’s entire body goes rigid at her words and his face is emblazoned with rage as he looks down at me. I step back away from him in an effort to allow him the space and privacy to deal with this. As I step back, I see sadness take hold in his eyes that would have brought me to tears if I were not in such a state of shock. I am at a loss for how to handle this situation. On the one hand, I know there is absolutely no way Austin could kill anyone. This has to be a mistake, does it not? No, the man I love could never hurt anyone I have to believe that.

  Chapter 28

  I continue to stand in the doorway of the bathroom shocked by the revelation that Austin has apparently killed his child. I can see that Austin is still arguing with his mom but his stance is one of defeat. I really do not believe that Austin killed with intent, there simply has to be a rational explanation to this. Not knowing what to do next, I grab my shoes, sit down, and tie them while I breathe deeply and try to get a handle on my emotions.

  After tying my shoes, I warily walk out into the bedroom and find Austin sitting on the floor beneath the bay window, with his head between his knees, and the phone still against his ear. I want to rush over to him, wrap my arms around him, and tell him that everything will be fine. However, our relationship is so new that I am too unsure of myself to make any move other than one for the door. I quickly make my way downstairs to the living room where J and Bode are relaxing on the sofa.

  The guys are watching ESPN and they both look like they could fall asleep at any moment. Who knows what exploits those two had last night after I bailed with Austin. I walk quietly over and sit down between them leaning my head on Jeremy’s shoulder. We sit quietly watching highlights for the next ten minutes and I begin to feel the exhausting effects of the last 24 hours.

  Just as I am succumbing to my exhaustion Bode asks, “So where’s the boy toy?”

  He looks at me with a knowing smirk when it takes me a minute to respond. “Oh, um he is on the phone with his mom,” I say with an unwanted bit of anger in my voice.

  “Not a fan of mommy dearest,” he asks causally.

  I know I cannot explain any of this to them so I decide to try to deflect, “Let’s just say I am not a fan of anyone who interrupts play time,” I say with a wink. As suspected, the answer earns me a few grunts of disapproval and no further questions.

  Austin has now been on the phone for over hal
f an hour and it is beginning to drive me crazy. What if she talks him into believing I am damning him? What if her clear disdain for me wears off on him? I really can’t be sure he is still on the phone but I am not brave enough to go up and check either. Maybe he is up there contemplating the best way to tell me it is over. As another five minutes pass and my sanity begins to crumble so I decide to get out of the house.

  I hop up off the couch, “Either of you boys want to come down to the beach?” Considering they are both zoned out watching the television I am not expecting them to accept. Jeremy looks up at me with a small smile, “I am worn out sis, but I will go if you want me to.”

  That is my big brother always there for me but the truth is I want to be alone, “No I am good, just thought I would ask.”

  I can see relief flash on his face before he responds, “Ry, I think Bode and I are going to head back down the street, if that’s ok.”

  “Absolutely, you two go and get some rest, I will see you later,” I say in absolute honesty.

  We all make our way out the door and just as I turn to head towards the beach J pulls me into his side, “We will see you tonight, right?” It came out as more a statement than a question and I can see a bit of concern in his eyes as he looks at me.

  I give him a big smile, “Yes, I will text you in a couple hours and we will figure it out.” I have been so wrapped up in my relationship/non-relationship lately that I haven’t really spent as much time with my brother as I would like. That has to stop now, he is the only family I have, I remind myself.

  Boss and I make our way down the trail to our favorite stretch of sand and I can finally breathe again. God, how I love the ocean air and the sound of gentle waves rolling in, it is my serenity. As much as I feel like just sprinting down the beach I force myself to stretch and work into a slow jog to let my boy get warmed up. As we start our jog, I can feel the aftereffects of my night with Austin, which both elates and saddens me. I am sore in places I forgot existed and in ways I did not know were possible. My discomfort is only heightened by the realization that last night may be the first and last time I am with Austin.

  My mind is running through the various scenarios regarding the startling new information that was leaked this morning. Continuing to pound the sand, I suddenly realize Boss and I are nearly three miles down the beach. My body is undoubtedly exhausted but the fear of the unknown is obviously driving my adrenaline. Knowing Boss's limit is around five miles total we turn to head back when a sudden flash catches my eye.

  Ignoring the flash and continuing a slow jog back, I get the eerie feeling I am being watched. I try to inconspicuously glance around but all I see are families out for a beach day with kids running freely in the sand and a few couples walking hand in hand. Nothing seems out of the ordinary until I see the flash again out of the corner of my eye.

  Subtly, I turn my gaze that direction to find a dark-clad figure in the distance atop the cliffs, but I cannot make out enough to say whether it is just an aspiring photographer or something more sinister. Either way I am feeling uneasy, however that may be due more to my scattered emotions than anything else.

  Reaching the mile to go point Boss and I slow down to a walk and I continue to glance up at the mysterious figure that is coming into focus the closer we get to our starting point. The flash has gone off a few more times and I wonder to myself who would use a camera flash in broad daylight. Of course, I am not a photographer, save the pictures I capture on my smart phone. We are about two hundred yards from our ending point, and the little bench we like to inhabit after a long run, when I notice Austin.

  Chapter 29

  I can tell from here Austin is upset even though I cannot see his face. He stands in a defeated posture with his head slightly down and his hands in his pockets staring out over the horizon as if it holds the answers he is seeking.

  I don't know why he is down here. Is he collecting his thoughts? Is he looking for me? I hope he is looking for me even though I didn't come out here to hide, I came out here to give him some space, and myself time to process the eventful morning.

  In reality, I have no more answers than I did when I stepped out of the house. I know that I enjoy being with Austin and the way he has brightened my life. But, I am not sure how to react to the possibility he killed a child other than I simply don't or can't believe he willingly did it. The way he has treated me and Boss, for that matter, over the past few months tells me he couldn't purposely hurt anyone.

  The desperate forlorn look on the face of my usually happy-go-lucky man breaks my heart. So, for now, I vow to believe in him until he gives me a reason not to.

  About fifty yards from Austin I stop and lean down to Boss petting his large head before whispering to him, “Go get him boy, go give him a hug.”

  There are few things in this world that can undoubtedly make me smile and one of them is love from an animal. I hope that Aus feels the same way because he is about to get a whole lot of it. Boss barrels towards him at a full run and stops just shy before standing up and giving my new guy a hug and sloppy kiss.

  It is obvious Boss caught Austin off guard when he begins tumbling backwards and winds up on the sand with Boss towering over him. My only saving grace at this point is the fact that I can hear him laughing and he is now play wrestling with the dog.

  When Austin finally makes his way to a seated position, he is covered in sand and I can hear him ask Boss, “Where is that gorgeous owner of yours?” I stand back and admire the sight of my best buddy and the man I am in love with and it warms my heart.

  “Gorgeous, huh? I thought you might have other names considering Boss just tackled you.” I laugh watching him shake the sand out of his hair as he stalks towards me.

  “Yeah, you are gorgeous and the best damn thing that ever walked into my life. As for the big man over there, a lot bigger and a lot uglier has tackled me. He is the only one to ever put a smile on my face while doing it though.”

  In this moment, with him looking at me as if I hung the moon, the shell around my heart cracks some more and I know he will be the one to destroy it.

  “So what ya doing,” I ask silently hoping he did come out here for me. I know it is silly to wish for that considering we haven't spent a moment apart in the past twenty-four hours, but I still do. I also want to believe that his seeking me out means that what his mother accused is unfounded.

  His smile fades slightly as he turns his attention to the sand beneath his feet, “Well, I was hoping to find you. I, I was um” I can see the unease and pain in his face. Stepping forward, I run my hand down the muscle lines in his arm before entwining my fingers with his. He glances upward at me and I know he senses the security I am trying to inspire.

  With a slight squeeze of my hand and his head held low, “I um, I didn't do it. I didn't do what my mother implied.” It comes out nearly a whisper but at once I feel my worry wane.

  I bring my free hand up to his cheek and direct his gaze to mine, “I know baby, I know.”

  I do not know if it was the pain in his voice, his body language, or the sadness in those beautiful blue eyes, but in this moment I am beyond certain he did not kill anyone. I am still curious why his mother would accuse him of such a thing, but I also know the answer will not sway my feelings. For now, I choose to ignore the unanswered questions and support the man who has taught me how to live again.

  We make our way, hand in hand, up the winding path back to the street. I see the flash a few more times and nudge Austin, “I saw them too, but it is probably just fodder for the local rags,” he says nonchalantly.

  I wish I believed that, but I am finding myself increasingly uneasy. Once we pass the dark-clad camera-wielding figure it occurs to me Austin’s sister was here yesterday. “Hey Aus, where is your sister?” I feel like a turd that I just realized she practically disappeared.

  “I put her on a plane back to Texas yesterday afternoon. That was part of what my mom was berating me about. She didn’t know where Ally
went, and she blames me for her showing up here.”

  I can tell this is a sore subject for Austin and one that is not fit for public, especially with the strange attention we are receiving. “I am sorry Austin. I hope you didn’t send her back on my account.” I know I sound self-centered, when he is obviously dealing with family drama, but I am hoping to ease out of the conversation.

  “Well Ry, truth is, you were part of the reason, but I knew she had to go before my mom lost her shit and did something crazy.” The remainder of the walk home was silent, I could tell Austin was deep in thought and I didn’t want to force him to share.

  Chapter 30

  Austin and I spent the rest of Sunday afternoon curled up on the couch alternating between watching television, napping, and having sex. To say it was the perfect afternoon, would be spot on. We went down to my house Sunday evening to hang out with J. We ordered in pizza and they told football stories. I was in heaven with my two favorite men.

  Monday morning came too early after a late night of lovemaking with Austin. It seems as if we are incapable of keeping our hands off each other for more than a few minutes at a time. I look over at my clock to see that it is six a.m. and I have to get up for work. I delicately extract myself from the strong arms wrapped around me and head for the shower.

  After a quick shower and a little make-up, I am nearly awake. I quietly pad into my closet looking for something to wear. I settle on a black pencil skirt that hits a couple inches above my knee and a white button down shirt with three-quarter length sleeves. I could probably get away with wearing my normal jeans to work, but with the draft this close I don’t want to be caught off guard if any of my clients pop in unannounced.