Loving Enough (The Enough Series Book 2) Page 4

  Leaving J’s room, however, the initial high begins to wear off. I am hit by a tidal wave of conflicting emotions all competing for space in my overtired head. Every emotion I have locked away or hidden from in the past ten days comes rushing forward. I am a wreck, with tears running down my face and sobs lurking in the back of my throat.

  I make my way out to the all too familiar ICU waiting room and take up residence in my usual gray chair in the corner. Unable to get a hold on myself, I curl up with my knees to my chest and let the tears flow. My tears are a cathartic release. I haven’t slept more than a few hours each night since J was brought in and I am exhausted. Add the stress of his injuries and the continued threats, and I am a mess.

  J asked me to go home and take a nap and shower, but I cannot bear to leave just yet. He has only been awake a little over an hour. What if there is a relapse, or worse? Staying near is the only reasonable option for me at this point.

  I have seen enough medical dramas on television to know that it is when you think things are OK that they like to pull the rug from beneath you. I know my life is not a television show, but it has rivaled one lately. Maybe I’ll go home tomorrow if he is still doing well.

  All these thoughts run through my head as I try to get a grasp on my wayward emotions, but it is no use. Instead, I bury my head in my knees and cry. Thankfully I am alone up here for once. Well, except for my bodyguard. He probably thinks I am certifiable, but that’s fine.

  Entranced in my world of tears, relief, and exhaustion, I am startled when I feel strong arms wrap me up and pull me in. The familiar fragrance of crisp, clean body wash mixed with the heavenly scent of pure man tells me that the arms belong to Austin. Without hesitation, I collapse into him, content to let the world fall away for a moment.

  All the anger and resentment I thought I felt towards him melts away at the tenderness of his touch. None of this is his fault: it’s mine. I failed to protect them, something I will not do again. But right now I want to enjoy the safety of the man next to me. There is no place I would rather be.

  He runs smoothing strokes up and down my back before placing a feather-light kiss on my hair. Unfortunately, our situation prevents this from becoming permanent. It pisses me off that someone has the power to keep us apart. What kind of coward sits back and sends veiled threats, refusing to step up for what they want? If the lunatic ever came forward, the only thing I would give him is a right cross to his jaw and a one-way ticket to jail.

  For the longest time Austin doesn't say a word. I am sure he thinks the worst has happened. I mean, who sits in a waiting room bawling because their family member is alive? Me, that's who. The new pathetic excuse for Rylee Ash. His loving touch sends my emotions further overboard until I bottom out. Exhaustion becomes my primary state.

  Once my breathing evens out and the gut twisting sobs stop, he finally asks, “What happened, Ry?”

  The concern in his voice is genuine and the sound of it soothes my damaged heart. I try to wipe the tears from my cheeks before turning to face the most beautiful pair of blue eyes I have ever seen. They are a deep shade of blue today, reflecting his somber disposition. The love and compassion clear in them pierce my soul, reminding me how much I love and miss this man.

  “He woke up. Austin, he is awake.”

  My voice comes out as a whisper with a whole new set of feelings bubbling up. Why can't things ever be simple?

  Satisfied in my current position, I snuggle into Austin's chest and just breathe. His shirt smells of laundry detergent but it doesn’t overpower his masculine scent. The potent combination quiets my frazzled nerves and relaxes my mind. He seems happy with me curled up against him, but shifts ever so slightly so I am sitting in his lap. God, this feels amazing.

  We sit in silence as if he knows that I don't have the mental capacity to dissect anything right now. He shelters me in a cocoon, allowing me to feel safe, to feel loved, and to take a freaking break. Not to say I haven't felt that from Bode and Eric, but Austin is different. With Austin, it feels like our hearts are tethered together. He gives me strength and pulls away the pain. He is my happy place. My home.

  Absorbing his comfort, it breaks my heart to know that our time is limited. Until the stalker situation is put to rest, my priority will be keeping those I love out of harm’s way. And loving Austin means I will have to say goodbye to keep him safe. For now.

  We sit wound around each other as others come through the waiting room to visit their loved ones. I never see their faces, I only hear their footsteps. From the frantic to the measured, you can tell a lot about a person by the pace of their steps in a place like this.

  The monotony of this hospital is depressing. Some get good news and others are told the worst. Either way, this place takes its visitors on an emotional roller coaster, one I am eager to get off.

  Sprawled out across Austin’s lap I am more comfortable and relaxed than I have been in the last ten days. But I cannot imagine our position is comfortable for him. He is sandwiched between the cold tile floor and me.

  I turn in his arms to look at his adoring face. “Austin, you have to be uncomfortable.”

  It is obvious he is, yet I really don't want to move from this spot. It is selfish, but once we get up this little bubble will burst and I have no idea when I will get a chance to feel him next to me again. I wish we could stay nestled together forever. I wish we could shut out the outside world, pull those closest to us into the bubble, and live happily ever after. But that is not an option in real life, only in fairytales.

  “Ry, I am fine. I would sit in hot lava if it meant you would be with me.”

  The pain and sadness in his eyes pull heavily on my fragile heartstrings. Without thinking, I grasp his strong jaw and pull him into a kiss. It is not a heated passionate kiss, rather one meant to tell him how much I love him. We trade lazy, measured movements full of love and longing.

  His hands slide up my neck and into my hair, sending a shiver down my spine. My stomach flips and my hands shake against his strong back. I miss this so much. I want him so much.

  Breaking the kiss, I rest my forehead against his. “I love you, Aus, you have to know that.”

  His chest rises and falls with what feels like a deep sigh of relief.

  “I hoped you still did, because I am still madly in love with you.”

  Happy to let now be now, we shift a touch to give Austin's leg a little relief before I settle back down against his hard chest. After a few minutes, my exhaustion consumes me and I fall asleep cradled in the arms of my prince charming.

  Chapter 7

  Rylee

  I wake up to find the sun disappearing beyond the pinkish hue of the horizon. Taking stock of my surroundings, I realize I am no longer sitting on the waiting room floor. I am back on my makeshift bed in Jeremy’s hospital room. There is a bench seat in the window with a cushion that I have called bed for the past ten days.

  The orange cushion is in stark contrast to the rest of the drab room. The cushion provides a small amount of comfort from sleeping on the hard surface, but not much. Given the obvious time of day and soreness now present in my neck and shoulders, it is evident I have been here for a little while.

  Trying to uncurl myself and stretch my now sore muscles, I realize I am not alone on my little slice of discomfort. Straightening my legs, I feel a hand run up my exposed calf and firm thighs. I would know that touch anywhere. My heart skips knowing Austin is still here. The bubble hasn’t popped yet.

  Turning away from the window, I am greeted by those stunning blue eyes that have a renewed sparkle to them. What a perfect sight to wake up to. In my opinion, there is no better view than one including Austin Black, preferably shirtless, but beggars can’t be choosers.

  He smiles that million-dollar smile and I am suddenly very aware of my less than stellar appearance. Sure, I have showered every day, but I haven’t felt the need to ready myself for the outside world until now. My matted hair, lack of make-up, and worn out cl
othes don’t scream sexy girlfriend.

  “Well, hi there, Beautiful,” he says with a low sexy timbre to his voice. I sit up with my legs still casually draped across him and reach out to run a hand down his stubbled jaw. The coarseness against my hands ignites parts of me that need to stay dormant while J is lying in a hospital bed a few feet away. It is safe to say that our chemistry has not faded due to lack of attention.

  “How long was I out?” I ask, curious how we ended up here.

  “A little over six hours. Looks like you must have needed the rest.”

  It is true I needed the rest, but I did not plan to sleep the day away in his arms. Although I have a sneaking suspicion that the only reason I slept as well as I did was because he held me.

  It is funny how when the thing I want and the thing I need finally meet, they become the one thing I cannot have. I suppose nobody ever said life was fair. In this instance it definitely is not. Depriving me of a life with Austin, after experiencing its splendor, qualifies as cruelty.

  If I have been asleep for over six hours, that means Austin has just been sitting here. He always finds a way to show me how much he loves me. I mean for heaven’s sake, he managed to do it while I was passed out. God, I love him.

  “So you just sat here with me for the entire day? You didn’t have to do that, Aus.”

  I am in no way surprised that he spent the day here, but I feel a little guilty.

  “Ry, I’ve told you - I will take you any way I can get you. And if that means watching you sleep, then so be it. Any time with you is better than no time.”

  The sincerity on his face and in his voice melts my heart. His ability to love me in spite of everything I have put him through is astounding. The conversation we need to have is lurking in the recesses of my mind, but I am not ready to break our happy cocoon yet. I want to enjoy being with him a little bit longer.

  “Austin, you are so incredibly sweet. I have no clue what I did to deserve you, but -”

  He cuts me off. “No buts yet, Ry. J and I have been talking and we have a couple of ideas.”

  I turn to acknowledge my brother’s presence for the first time since waking, only to find he is asleep. That would explain how Austin managed to sit here for six hours; he had Jeremy to keep him company. I am not sure I like that idea, but it looks like what’s done is done.

  “So let me get this straight. The last time you two hatched a plan, J ended up battered and broken. Now you two think I will be willing to go along with another of your plans? I don’t think so. I won’t put any of us in danger again over this.”

  I motion between us as I finish the last sentence. His face falls at my curt disapproval. I still don’t know the details of the last plan they concocted. All I do know is that Austin came back from Houston early, against my wishes, and J ended up here the next morning. The person behind the threatening text messages is clearly serious.

  It's not that I don’t think Austin is worth it. He is totally worth it. I trust him and J implicitly in every facet of my life except this one. The thing is, they are men and they refuse to believe they need protection. However, I will protect them and everyone else in my life from the clearly unstable individual who is hell-bent on making me miserable.

  “I know you don’t trust us with this, Ry, and due to current circumstances I understand. I really do. But you have to know we will do what we think is best for you. We love you.”

  The love in this equation has never been in question. I know Austin and J love me. What I question is the bravado they are using to make their decisions.

  “Alright. Just for the sake of argument, what is this plan exactly?”

  I figure I at least have to hear him out. I don’t want to bruise any egos or hurt anyone’s feelings, but at the end of the day this decision is mine.

  Running a hand through his longer than usual light brown hair, he sighs before turning to face me.

  “Let’s wait and talk about this when J is up to it and we get a chance to run it by Detective Ruzek.”

  The fact that they are going to consult Ruzek gives me a glimmer of hope. It would be great to rid ourselves of this mess one way or another. I would prefer to be enlightened before this scheme goes any further, but I suppose if Ruzek agrees it can’t be all bad.

  His eyes plead with me to agree with him, so I do.

  “Fine, but nothing goes into motion without my permission. You see how well that turned out last time.”

  He takes my hands into his and kisses my knuckles. I can’t help but smile at the adoring gesture.

  “I promise we will not do anything without your knowledge.”

  Somehow I doubt they will wait for my permission, but a girl can dream, right?

  As we grin at one another, I am lost to my feelings. We hold the gaze for what feels like hours. Non-verbally we convey everything that needs to be said. The I love you, I miss you, and I will do anything for you sentiments are expressed without reservation.

  Austin finally breaks our connection when he leans in and gently kisses me. I slide my body towards him so that I can wrap my arms around his neck and deepen our unspoken desires. The feel of his skin against mine settles my fears and awakens my heart. I would have never dreamed it possible to be this in love with another human being. His touch has a way of allowing me to forget about the outside world.

  Just as I crawl on his lap, Jeremy chimes in. “So, is this how I will always find you two?”

  His timing is always poor, but I am happy to hear his snarky voice. With my cheek against his, I kiss Austin again and whisper in his ear.

  “I love you.”

  Breaking our embrace, I hop down and cross the room to check on my big brother.

  Chapter 8

  Rylee

  Austin went home a while later. He pleaded with me to go home with him and J encouraged it but I didn’t feel comfortable leaving. I chose to stay with J for one more night. Dr. Bowen came by earlier and was pleased with J’s status. He said he would likely recommend moving him to the rehabilitation floor in the next day or two. Then he will start J’s physical therapy and watch the progression before discharge.

  The good news seemed to appease my angrier than ever big brother. He is frustrated with being confined to a bed and irritated that he does not remember everything. From what I can tell, his talk with Austin jogged at least a few pieces free. They still have not let me in on the details of their powwow despite my constant nagging.

  We have sat in silence since they brought his meal tray in and I attempted to convince him to eat what he described as “food not fit for a dog’s ass”. I tried not to laugh considering the visual that statement projects.

  The silence is weighing on me, so I try to relieve it.

  “J, do you want me to go get you something to eat? Or Bode can bring something; he will be here in about an hour anyway.”

  He just stares at me as if he is trying to solve the Da Vinci code. His eyes are glazed over, a side effect of the pain medication, giving him a near homicidal glare. I take his silence as a cue to hush and resume looking over the files piled in my lap. The draft is a week away and whether I want to or not, I need to be in New York by next Thursday. Gabe has offered to go alone and handle it, but I simply cannot let go of the reins that easily. At least not now that J is awake and progressing.

  I built this company on my own and worked my ass off to get my first few clients. It is only fair that I continue to work as hard for my new clients and that means being there for the biggest day of their lives, the day all their dreams come true. I cannot wait for the day all of my dreams come true. Although a dream I never knew I had did come true - in the form of a hot-as-sin quarterback. Now all we need is J to heal and a chance to find our version of normal without any outside influences.

  I owe it to Jeremy to make sure that my business continues to thrive, since he gave me the money to start the business. J has always been generous, but I count the money he gifted me as an investment in his future
too. I hope that it will be a place he can call home after he retires from football, if he is ever able to play again. Lord, I hope he will be able to play again, or who knows what he will do with himself.

  As I read Ransford Blaylock’s file for the hundredth time, J finally breaks his silence.

  “So, are you just going to sit there and ignore me now?”

  I look away from the file, confused. It is not as if he was interested in talking a few minutes ago. I set the file down and give J my full attention. He looks worn and unlike his usual carefree self. The hospital gown is a pale blue and drapes across his body like a smock, giving him a frail appearance. I remind myself that no matter how he looks or behaves, he is alive and I am grateful for that.

  “Ry, I’m sorry. This has been one hell of a day. I feel like shit and I cannot believe this is where we are. I mean, do you have any idea who is behind this mess?” His tone is somewhat tempered, but the anger behind it is clear.

  I shake my head because obviously I don’t, or I would have spoken up by now.

  “OK, so let’s think together,” he says, as if I haven’t spent the last few weeks doing just that. If will appease him and give him something to focus on, I will go along. “The texts are getting increasingly desperate. Has anything else happened that we don’t know about?”

  Thinking back, he is right; the texts are becoming more and more desperate. They reek of someone on the edge, someone losing control. But J shouldn’t know that.

  “How do you know about the texts? You haven’t seen the most recent ones.”

  Immediately I see the guilty look on his face being replaced by that evil smirk he has when he does something ‘for my own good’. That smirk has always been his tell. He has seen the texts, which means he snooped through my phone. The smirk turns to a smile, one I have missed.

  “Well, you took a very long nap and left your phone unattended. So Austin and I had a look.”