Loving Enough (The Enough Series Book 2) Read online

  Eric squeezes me into him and plants a kiss on the top of my head. I hug him back and look over to find J smiling back at us. He shakes his head before ending the discussion.

  “Well thank fuck, cause we sure as hell miss you too, bro. Welcome back.”

  Eric releases me before he and J engage in a half hug. Then he announces he needs to go to bed, because he ‘has a job to quit tomorrow.’ I am so pleased to see him happy for what seems like the first time in years. However, I also have a job to get to tomorrow, so I should probably go back to bed.

  “Hey, J, we all good?” I ask for reassurance.

  “Yeah, baby girl, we are. I’m sorry. I was just worried about both of you, but it seems you found a way to save my best friend. That makes you two for two on the week, doesn’t it?”

  I am not sure what he means by two for two and it must show on my still slightly drunk face, because he explains.

  “First you save Ruzek and now Eric. You are batting a thousand, sis.”

  His laughter makes me giggle. “Yeah, I guess I am. I need to go find a bed for a few hours though. I have work to do tomorrow and I should let Gabe know I hired Eric.”

  J’s face takes a serious turn as he studies my expression. “Ry, can you afford to hire Eric? I mean, do you need money or anything?”

  There is the protector again, making me smile. I lean down to kiss his cheek before I respond.

  “I’ve got this, J, don’t worry. We were getting ready to hire someone new anyway. Gabe and I are swamped. This worked out perfectly.”

  He grabs my wrist as I stand up, forcing serious eye contact. “All right, but if you need anything you let me know. Now, push my ass back to Dani, would you?”

  Spinning him around, I push him toward the living room and bellow for Dani. She and Austin come rushing over to find J and me. He smiles up at her.

  “Dani girl, will you please get me away from my crazy ass sister?”

  She looks at me skeptically until she notices my smile, returns a shy one of her own, and wheels J down the hall towards their room. Once they disappear into the black abyss of the hallway, I wrap myself around Austin and beg him to take me back to bed.

  Chapter 42

  Rylee

  After a few hours of sleep and yet another nightmare featuring a loaded gun to my face, I wake slightly hungover.

  Reaching across the bed, I find Austin missing. It is just after seven so I have about an hour before I absolutely need to leave the house. When the events of last night pop to the forefront of my mind, a gigantic smile crosses my face.

  The hot spray of the showerhead massages my aching skull and caresses the length of my body. After countless minutes under the delicious spray, I reluctantly pull myself from the shower and ready myself for the day.

  While applying a coat of mascara to my long lashes, I notice Austin sitting on the bed with his phone. When he pulls the phone from his ear, a heart-wrenching sadness covers his face and takes root in his eyes. His runs a heavy hand down his face before looking up in contemplation.

  My gaze is trained to the mirror watching every sullen movement before he captures my stare. My heartbeat slows as the world begins to fall away. Uneasiness pours from him, causing a disturbing shiver to slide down my spine. Something is wrong and I get the feeling it has nothing to do with the Ryan fiasco.

  He glances away, leaving me full of doubt and worry. The past few days have taken their toll on all of us, but Austin seems lost when the rest of us have found comfort in one another. Uncertainty fills the air, but my love for him grounds me. With careful steps, I go to him, hoping I can provide whatever it is he needs.

  Austin and I live on the edge of something amazing. Every time we are close enough to enjoy it, stronger forces pull us back. Even though we have only been granted a few perfect days of bliss, those days are what propel me forward. I know what perfection with Austin feels like and there is nothing that could keep me from fighting for more.

  Tension rolls off his shoulders in waves. He sits with one leg folded up on the bed and the other hangs down, his foot resting heavily on the floor. Not a word is spoken between us as I reach out and run my left hand across the front of his tight chest and up to his shoulder. Placing a knee behind him on the bed, I climb up and wrap my right arm under his and my left snakes lower around his trim waist.

  I hold him tight, with my cheek flush against his powerful back. The tautness in his body lessens when he covers my arms with his. Then he slides me around his body to straddle him. His blue irises resemble a thunderstorm with dark clouds coloring the background, the flashes of fear resembling lightning. Through it all, I can sense his silent plea for me to love him.

  He rests his chin on my shoulder and buries his face in my hair.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” I ask.

  He moves his head back and forth before whispering, “Not yet. I still need to figure it all out.”

  His voice is low and broken. I can’t lie and say I am not hurt that he won’t confide in me. My body sags in defeat before I attempt to extricate myself from his hold. I push against his chest halfheartedly, hoping he will understand. Instead he tightens the embrace.

  “Don’t, Ry. I’m not ready to let you go yet and I am afraid that, when this comes out, I will lose you. You have been through so much shit. The last thing you need is me piling more on you.”

  His words tick my irritation up a notch. While I am accustomed to the men in my life protecting me, they have also always confided in me. The fact that Austin believes I cannot handle his troubles, or that I will leave him because of them, concerns me. Does he not have any faith in me? Any faith in us?

  My fists tighten behind his back in frustration as I search my thoughts for a way to give both Austin and myself the reassurances we need. Releasing the stiffness in my body, I press a soft kiss to his lips and rest my forehead against his.

  My hands come up to frame his face with soothing strokes. I chance a peek at his storm-filled eyes, only to find them closed. With a chest-expanding deep breath followed by a slow and steady exhale, I opt to ask the only questions that matter.

  “Hey, Aus,” I whisper in an assuming tone.

  “Yeah, baby?” He whispers back.

  “Do you love me?”

  “More than anything in this world, Ry.”

  We sit in our embrace, the only sound coming from our combined breaths. He loves me, that I already knew, but I have also learned that love isn’t always enough.

  “Are you leaving me?”

  “No, fuck no. I am praying you don’t leave me.” His voice is a breathless whisper.

  There is only one reason I would walk away from Austin and that is infidelity. I know, besides that, there is nothing he and I cannot handle together.

  “Did you cheat on me?” My voice cracks at the question.

  His head snaps back from mine at the same time his hands frame my face. He directs my gaze to him, but I cannot hold his pleading stare. I cannot imagine what else he could have done that leads him to believe I would walk away.

  “Rylee Ash, absolutely not. You are it for me. You were it the moment you stumbled down my driveway. I love you so damn much, Ry. I would never cheat on you.”

  Our eyes meet and honesty overflows from his. Trepidation and fear are still present, but I am no longer concerned with what he is hiding. Whatever it is, we can handle it.

  “I love you too, Aus. With that settled, I am not going to worry about whatever it is you feel like hiding. You can tell me when you’re ready.”

  A smirk plays at the corner of his mouth and his eyebrows rise, challenging my statement. “What do you mean you aren’t going to worry about it?”

  The truth is that not knowing will drive me crazy, but it feels like Austin needs blind support so that is precisely what he is getting.

  “I mean you answered the only three questions that matter. So, you can tell me or not tell me when you are ready. My sanity is hanging on by a thread these
days, so worrying about the unknown is a waste of energy.”

  Reluctantly I pull from Austin’s grasp, only to have him crush me back into him. His lips are against mine in a flash and between kisses he tells me he loves me. Repeatedly. After one final heart-melting kiss, I pull away.

  “I have to get to work, Aus, and so do you.”

  I straighten my clothes and take a quick peek in the mirror. I don’t look too worse for wear, besides my flush complexion and smeared lip gloss. After composing myself, I kiss Austin goodbye.

  “I love you, baby.”

  He smiles a half smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “I love you, too, Ry. We will talk tonight, I promise. If you need anything before then, you call me.”

  Stepping through the bedroom door, I look back with a wink. “That goes for you, too.”

  Chapter 43

  Rylee

  It isn’t until I step on the elevator leading to the tenth floor that I realize I haven’t been back to my office since the bomb scare. It is almost nine o’clock, so the building is buzzing with activity and this calms my nerves slightly. I garner a few curious glances from people who no doubt recognize me from the ongoing news coverage of Ryan’s death. I keep my head down and ignore it until I get through my office door.

  On the other side of the solid, wooden door stands Gabe, with a cup of coffee in his hand and a scowl on his face. He has his headset on, listening intently to someone on the other end of the line. A sideways smile tells me that he is frustrated with the caller and is in a typical cheery mood. He paces the room in his dark gray suit before ending the call.

  “No comment and do not call again.”

  He flings the headset onto his desk and turns back to me. “Hey Boss, how are you doing?”

  His voice is filled with more sympathy than I care for.

  “I am good, just ready to get back to normal. We need to have a chat when you have a spare moment.”

  My less than enthusiastic tone causes him to cower slightly. “I am free now, if you like.”

  I find myself somewhat uneasy. I am accustomed to making business decisions unilaterally. I realize I should have spoken to Gabe before hiring Eric, but this is still my business even if Gabe is now a minority partner.

  My office is back to normal, with all signs of Ryan and his threats removed. There is a stack of files in the center of my desk waiting to be read. I take a seat in my black leather ergonomic chair and motion for Gabe to take a seat in one of my guest chairs.

  Reaching down, I power up the computer and slide the files to the right of my desk. Gabe is uneasy and loosens his bright blue tie. I feel bad for him and put his mind at ease quickly.

  “So, as you know, we have more on our plates here that just the two of us can handle.” He visibly relaxes, so I continue. “An opportunity presented itself last night, and I made a spur of the moment hire.”

  Clearly taken aback, he nods as he absorbs the statement. “All right. I have interviewed several candidates and the decent ones are in that pile you have there, but I guess we won’t be needing those.”

  His tone is dejected and I regret that he put so much work into something I overrode without a thought.

  “Gabe, I appreciate everything you have done. I apologize for not consulting you on this decision, but I am overjoyed with my choice. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I can trust Eric with what you and I are building.”

  A small smile crosses his face and his chocolate eyes brighten. “Eric, huh? This wouldn’t be your best friend Eric the lawyer, would it?”

  Playful sarcasm drips from his words and I cannot help laughing. “Yes, the one and only Eric the lawyer/best friend.”

  “Awesome, Ry. I like Eric. He seems like a good guy. I thought he had a job with some big fancy firm though?”

  “He did, but his circumstances are changing. He is ecstatic to be coming on board here.”

  I didn’t want to share any personal details of Eric’s situation, since it is his story to tell. Gabe and Eric are only acquaintances, a situation that will no doubt change soon.

  Gabe stands to return to his workspace in the front. “Truthfully, Ry, I am glad you hired a friend. I know it will put your mind at ease and, given the world around you right now, you need friends around. It is a double bonus that he is also a lawyer.”

  I am equally relieved and stunned that Gabe took the news so well. “Thank you, Gabe.”

  He strides towards my office door before turning back one more time. “So when does he start?”

  No sooner than Gabe finishes his question, the door to the main office swings open in a flurry. The sound catches us both off guard. Gabe whirls around to assess the intruder only to look back with a massive smile.

  “Never mind, looks like he is reporting for duty now.”

  Confusion mars my reaction until Gabe exits my office and a disheveled Eric enters. He collapses into the chair Gabe left moments ago, causing it to slide back.

  “Eric, what’s going on?”

  With a huff, he runs a hand through his hair and over his face. His light brown eyes are full of pain.

  “Well, Ry, it has been one hell of a morning. Please tell me you were serious last night.”

  “Of course I was serious, Eric. Now tell me what happened.”

  A callous laugh escapes his lips before he lets loose. “Well, for starters, Jen was at my office this morning when I arrived. She wanted to work things out. When I said no, things deteriorated. Her father stepped into the argument and fired me. Jen reacted by going into a hysterical fit. The hysterics only got worse once I explained to them both that I already had a better opportunity. Jen accused me of plotting the entire situation and her father threatened to sue me. After that, I grabbed my shit and went to the condo to get my things. Shortly after I arrived, so did the police, Jen, and her father. I left there with a restraining order and my clothes.”

  My mouth is agape in shock. He wasn’t kidding when he said he’d had a hell of a morning.

  “Jesus, Eric, why on earth did you leave with a restraining order?”

  “Who knows? That man has a lot of pull in the right circles. I didn’t need to get much else, but I would have liked the chance to retrieve the few things I had before she and I got together.”

  “We will get it all, Eric, I promise. They can’t keep your stuff. Let it all die down and in a few days we will try again, or file a petition with the courts. I’m sure he will respond to that.”

  Eric gives no reaction to my statement, other than a sad smile. I am sure this is harder on him than he will admit. He loved, or possibly still loves, Jen. They spent several years together, and that doesn’t go away in a matter of hours. I know the feeling all too well. It is the same feeling I had towards Ryan, and to some extent still struggle with after the events of the past few days.

  With a few steps, I make my way around the desk and pull him into a hug. He is hesitant at first, but after a moment he relaxes into me.

  “We will get through all of this, if it’s what you want.” I tell him. “I promise I will be here for whatever you need and you know Jeremy will be, too.”

  I feel him nod into my shoulder. “I know, Ry, and I cannot begin to thank you.”

  We separate from the hug and I see the pain that is etched across his face.

  “Why don’t you head home and get all of your stuff situated? I will come by when I am done here and we can hang out for a little while. Take the extra room next to J’s, or take mine. I really don’t care.”

  “Are you sure, Ry? I can stay and work.”

  “Eric, get out of here. You can start when you are ready. I assumed it would be at least a week.”

  “All right, I will see you later.”

  Chapter 44

  Rylee

  The rest of the day passes in a frenzy of phone calls and contracts. It feels good to be busy with normal, everyday life. All thoughts of Ryan and the incident are forgotten, if only for a few hours. Inside the walls of
my office, I find peace in doing the work I love.

  After leaving work, I find myself in bumper-to-bumper traffic. I always leave the office before rush hour for exactly this reason. However, Gabe and I were discussing possible new locations for the office and, before I knew it, the time was after five o’clock. We are excited to be in need of a larger space for our operations. The addition of Eric has moved up the timetable of our relocation.

  Inching closer to my exit, I am startled when my phone rings through the stereo speakers and cuts off my favorite Breaking Benjamin song. Glancing down at the screen, I smile when I see Austin’s name.

  “Hey Aus, what’s up?”

  “Hey, baby. Where are you?”

  “I’m stuck in traffic, but I’m getting close.”

  “Okay. I want to order dinner. Is there anything special you want?”

  “No, baby, I’m good with anything. I’m going to stop by and check on Eric before I head home, though. He had a really shitty day.”

  “Ry, are you sure that’s a good idea?”

  His question catches me off guard.

  “Of course checking on my friend is a good idea,” I say with more aggravation than intended.

  “That’s not what I meant, Ry. I mean is it a good idea to go back into your house? Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

  Shit, shit, shit! Focused on Eric, I never considered that I haven’t set foot in my house since I took a man's life in my living room. Lack of sleep and a single-sighted goal let me forget the possible ramifications of reentering my home.

  Images bombard me, bringing tears to my eyes and causing my hands to shake. They flash through my mind like a power point presentation. I have viewed this ‘here is your life’ presentation multiple times a day since the shooting.